After a long time of ministering to a man with an addiction
problem, I witnessed a miraculous freedom and transformation in him!
After a long time of ministering to
another man with a similar problem, he claimed a similar freedom. However, I recently learned that his claim was a deception. I still have much hope for my friend and I will continue to minister to him. Please pray for him. Pray that I will have discernment to enlist others with specialized training to break his denial and deceptions, if needed.
I am excited to share with you in this Rest Stop hope for
loved ones you may have with an addiction. The following sections are primarily
comprised of excerpts from two most helpful resources:
Freedom from Addiction
by Mike Quarles of GraceWalk Recovery Ministries
Good News for the
Chemically Dependent and Those Who Love Them by Jeff vanVonderen
FALSE HOPE THROUGH SELF-EFFORT
A person with an addictive behavior is viewed as weak. However, the reality is that they are too
strong.
The root problem is that they
are believing shame-full lies: I'm hopeless, I'm a alcoholic, I'm a victim,
I'm inadequate, I'm a product of a dysfunctional family, I don't deserve my
family's forgiveness, etc.
If your loved one can still ask, "What can I do to get
better or to do better?" they are still in bondage. They need not ask HOW can they set themselves free, but to ask (as Paul did in Romans 7:24)
WHO will set me free?!
TRUE HOPE THROUGH CHRIST
Stand fast in the liberty
by which Christ has made us free.
(Galatians 5:1)
So what can they do to be free? First and foremost, they must realize that
freedom has already been provided for them through Jesus Christ!
Instead of focusing on what they can DO or what others can DO for them, they must first embrace what Christ has
already DONE. God is leading them to the
end of their own self-effort and resources.
FALSE HOPE THROUGH DENIAL
No one wants an addiction.
Many people want to get rid of the problem, without changing
themselves. For the most part, they try
to get rid of it by denial. As a result, in relating to others, they develop lifestyle diversions from their problem.
They sincerely
want rid the problem but they also go on being in control and living the way
they think is best by their self-effort.
Part of the denial is not having to face the pain and humility they've
caused their loved ones.
They are trying to FIND life, but God is leading them to
LOSE their life (Matthew 10:39). They
are still seeking their best to cope. It
is difficult for them to surrender all the deep ways they have controlled
and manipulated to get love and acceptance most of their life.
And it is difficult for them to see how they have even deceived themselves through denial.
God has promised
the removal of those things that are being shaken...
...that the things which cannot be shaken may remain.
(Hebrews 12:27)
God is lovingly shaking everything in your
loved one that can be shaken so that what cannot be shaken is all that remains,
i.e., Jesus Christ indwelling them!
It takes an average of 54 confrontations to break through a
loved ones denials. At first, this
sounds like a depressing statistic, but is actually means hope!
Hope that a person
can eventually realize their problem and their need for help.
Hope that no one person can carry
the entire burden of helping someone realize their problem.
Hope that each encounter with the person
is not wasted, even if it appears to be the case at the time.
Hope that you and others are God's instrument and partner for His loving shaking
process!
True Hope for the Addicted 
